good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
