I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
