All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
