just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
