so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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