nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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