I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
