Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
