he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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