Midget sex pt 2 tonight
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
