hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
