Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
