Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
