Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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