i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
