...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
