which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
