I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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