he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
