The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
