it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
