Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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