cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
