We're facebook friends in real life
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
