i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
