so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
