If i come over, it means nothing
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
