you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
