I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
