my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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