i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Actions speak louder than pants.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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