You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
