I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
