Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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