I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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