I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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