You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
