i was born a porn star she said
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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