Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
