do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
