there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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