Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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