Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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