never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
