I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
