I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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