do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize