I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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