So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
