What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dicks are not precious.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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