I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
